At last a sunny day, they shout
Time to get the Barbie out
We’ll have an outdoor feast right here
Invite the neighbours. “Bring some beer”.
I just don’t “get” this strange desire
To sear a sausage on a fire
And burning burgers on the grill
Is not the way I get my thrill
Kippers, chops and skewered meat-
Too much food and too much heat
Charring chicken while we choke
And rub our eyes from all the smoke
So leave me out – I’ll just sit here
And pour myself another beer
The Barbecue, like emperors’ clothes
Is a joke that gets right up my nose.