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Advice for First Dates

Advice to men

Stand tall and dress smartly when meeting your date
Tell her she’s gorgeous. Don’t leave it too late.
Hold her hand firmly but don’t break her wrist
And don’t just expect that she wants to be kissed.
Roses are red, but so is your nose
If you drink too much wine and fall over your toes
And remember that when she looks into your eyes
She knows what you’re up to so don’t tell her lies.

Tell her she has pretty eyelashes.

Advice to women

Wear a high waist – it will make you look thin
To look younger, place your hand under your chin
Wear a good perfume, but don’t wear too much
Make sure he knows where he can, and can’t, touch
Let his kiss touch your neck or your cheeks, not your lips
If he’s buying you drinks, take very small sips.
Don’t take it for granted he’s paying the bill
(But if he wants to go further, he probably will)
Ask his intentions, then see how you feel
Oh – And don’t wear anything that isn’t real –

Like eyelashes.